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It’s OK to ask for help.

Hey there and welcome, my name is Victoria Obermaier and I am a career confidence coach and I am passionate about people being the best that they can be.  Thank you so much for joining me, erm we’re in a series of positive thinking and last week I talked about negativity and how it was really important to avoid negativity, so if you missed that one then go back and have a look, and I’m sure you’ll find it really useful.  So today, we are talking about asking for help, now I love this one because a couple of weeks ago this was a real reality for me.


So, I had to travel to a place called Merthyr which is in the South of Wales, it’s right in the valley and the weather had been awful.  It had been raining for days, really heavily, so no sun, so the ground was really saturated.  Anyway, the rain was kind of coming across like this, across the valley as I was driving down.  I got to this kind of conference centre, where I was having a meeting and couldn’t find a parking space.  It was absolutely rammed.  So I thought, so I drove down, you know where you get the erm parking and you’ve got sort of the bays either side, and at the end you’ve got some grass, like a grass area and there were lots of these bays all dotted along, all absolutely rammed, so I drove down this one bay, no parking spaces and thought oh okay I’ll just turn around, initially I thought I might just pop it on the grass, park at the end on the grass, and then I thought that’s probably not a good idea, but I just turn, so I put my two front wheels onto the grass and then thought no I’d better not park here actually so I’ll turn round and go back up.  Well, I couldn’t get off the grass, because the grass was so wet, and the mud was so boggy, that my wheels were just spinning and of course what I didn’t do was thinking oh I’d better stop because I don’t want to make the situation worse – no, no, no I was going back and forward, back and forward trying to be clever, you know trying to put the wheels into different directions, and the wheels were spinning and spinning and mud was just splattering over the car, that was parked next to me, which was white!  It was absolutely, I’m not kidding you, the side of the car poor owner, it was absolutely covered in mud, it was terrible.  And I was just getting nowhere fast, literally the wheels were just doing this.  So, I sat there thinking oh no, lord please help, please help, I’d already had a disastrous start to the day, I was on hour late, the traffic was really bad and I knew I’d be walking into the meeting late anyway, so, I was just like right okay, I’m just going to leave the car and go in and have a think about it and see what I can do.


So, I got into the meeting trying to calm myself and to cut a very long story short, I decide to phone the AA, because what do we pay our subscription for anyway.  Thankfully I had the right kind of cover that covered that kind of situation, so I rang the AA eventually, erm they were really helpful and they sent out Peter, who was my absolute hero for the day, he hitched up my car and pulled it out of the mud and there it was done, absolutely simple, really simple fix, literally just hooked it up, pulled it about, I don’t know, half a metre if that, and there I was free.  Now, I think that’s a great metaphor for sometimes we just need to ask for help.  So I talk a lot of my Vlogs and on my lives and things about the fact that we are absolutely in control of our lives.  We’re in control of our thoughts, we’re in control of our actions, we’re in control of setting boundaries for other people, for what’s acceptable for us and what’s not and I talk about that a lot, so you know, helping ourselves basically.  But there are some point sin our lives where we need to ask for help and that’s fine, that’s absolutely fine.  I could not, it wouldn’t have mattered how hard I tried to get that car out of the mud that day, I wouldn’t have been able to do it on my own – fact – I just wouldn’t.  I needed to ask for help and I asked for help and help was given and the situation was fixed and that was brilliant.


So, I want to encourage you with the fact that it’s okay to ask for help.  Now, I’m not great at doing that I have to say, I’m a no, no I can do it myself, I’ll just, I’ll find a way, and normally I do but I’ve become better at saying could somebody help me with this.  There’s a little bit of this social media thing or uploading thing or new technology thing I don’t really understand can somebody help me and people are more than willing to help.  More than willing and you can often find that actually the help is just reciprocated so they help you, then there’s another situation where you can help them.  So, I would encourage you if there’s something that you’re struggling with in any area, it doesn’t have to be necessarily on working on your personal self, it could be to do with work, or your family, or a relationship, if you’re not sure what to do ask for help, but I would say this little caveat, before you do that, before you ask for help and I was talking to my daughter about this the other day – one of my daughters – my middle one – it’s fine to ask for help if you have tried to help yourself first.


So, I knew, I’d tried to help myself hadn’t I by driving forward, driving backward, trying to find a different wheel angle to try and get off the kerb and there was just no way, so I knew at that point, okay I need to stop trying to work it out myself and I need to get help. But I tried first of all to get myself out of that situation, and that’s what you want to do, is you want to try to help yourself first but if you can’t, then ask for help because then you can say I’ve tried this and I’ve tried this and I’ve tried that, but actually I just need some help.  There is no shame in asking for help.  People love to help, genuinely people love to help. So ask, stretch out your hand and ask for help with something that you are struggling with, or that’s challenging you.  Okay?


So, I hope you found that helpful, useful, you can if you don’t want to miss any of the Vlogs you can subscribe to my YouTube channel which is Victoria Obermaier Coaching, or you follow me on Facebook and Instagram which is Victoria Obermaier Coaching.  Drop me a message let me know what you think, it’s always really helpful to know what people think and what people are getting out of these Vlogs, so yes, just let me know and I will see you next week.  Okay, take care everybody.

to you soon.

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