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Are you surviving or Thriving?

Hey there everybody, my name is Victoria Obermaier, and I am a career confidence coach and each week I create a vlog, a little 5 minute vlog which I hope that you find helpful.  Now normally I do my vlogs in kind of month themes, but this one is just a bit of a stand alone.  So it’s something I shared last week on a live that I did, and I thought it would be really helpful if I recorded it on this vlog too.

 

So, couple of weeks ago I was in London at a bit of a conference I suppose I would call it, about some coaching that a company is doing with the police and the army and the emergency services.  Fantastic stuff and they’re really going places.   And I just wanted to get a flavor of what they do.  And there was loads.  It was packed full of information, it was a really great evening but one of the things that one of the psychologists said really resonated with me and it’s something that I’ve been really keen to share.  So she talked about the scale that they use in psychology and it’s a scale of minus 10 to zero and then zero to plus 10.  So they assess people and find out where they are on this scale.  Now if you want a title for this vlog then I suppose you would call it surviving or thriving and you’ll see what I mean in a minute.

 

So they assess psychologists assess people and put them somewhere on this scale, or people place themselves on this scale.  Now if they’re from the ideal is to when they work with their patients they want them to if they have been in a negative, on a negative number then they want to move them back to zero, which is absolutely perfectly fine, because zero is where you’re sort of stable and you’re managing, and you’re okay.  So if you were in those minus numbers, that’s where you might be suffering from anxiety or PTSD or depression, and that’s when you would probably need intervention, so some kind of counselling, or support.  And so they, and organisations work with you when you’re at that minus number to bring you back to zero and that’s fantastic, brilliant.  But what they were also saying is that they are really passionate and this is my passion too, about okay that’s great, that we’re at zero, but that’s not where we’re meant to be.  We’re not meant to be at zero, there is a whole other end of the scale of zero to plus 10 and that scale there is what I call thriving, that is where you thrive, so your zero is your surviving, that’s okay I’m getting by every day, it’s not too bad, so yes, and we say things to ourselves about oh well at least I’ve got a job, even though I hate it.  Oh well at least I can pay my bills, all that kind of stuff.  That plus 10 is where we are absolutely in alignment with who we are, what we want in life, we’re achieving our goals, we’re living a life of balance between work and family, and we are making a really positive contribution to the world around us.  Whether that’s our family, our community, or the wider world.

 

And so I want you to, really want you to think about where you think you might be on that scale, so are you at zero just kind of doing life, stumbling along, doing okay, just about kind of keeping your head above water, are you in that minus section and if you are then I suggest that you reach out and look for help.  Are you in that plus section, where you are living your best life.  So think about where you are on that scale, and then think about where do you want to do.  Because it’s different for everybody isn’t it?  There are people, there are people amongst you who will be like yes definitely want to be on a plus 10, and other people might be I’d be happy with a plus 3 actually.  So think about where you want to be on that plus scale, and what does that actually mean, what would life look like if you were a plus 5?  What would life look like if you were a plus 7?  What would you be doing if you were a plus 7?  So, really have a think about where you want to be on that scale and then of course what you need to do to get you there.  It’s all very well isn’t it thinking of yes I’d love to be a plus 7 and it would look like x, y and z. Brilliant, great start, now what?  And that’s the thing to think about is how you move yourself into that thriving section of that scale, so be really honest with yourself, I always say it’s always best to work from a place of honesty, the only person you’re lying to is yourself, you can only make progress when you know clearly where you start.  So have a think about where you are on that scale and what you can do, to get yourself further up the scale to where you want to be, to where you’re thriving, to where you’re making an absolute difference in your life and everybody else’s and where you’re having a real impact.

 

Okay, so I hope that was helpful, you can if you like what I do you can erm subscribe to my Youtube channel which is Victoria Obermaier Coaching, or you can find me on Facebook Victoria Obermaier Coaching, or Instagram Victoria Obermaier Coaching.  Just drop me a message, get in touch anytime, I’d love to hear from you.  Okay take care and I’ll see you soon.

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